How to Find Yourself In Everyday Life (+Tips)

It may seem like your daily routine is "getting in the way" of discovering the real you. But sometimes, the way you do one small thing says everything about you, giving insight into your preferences, habits, dreams, personality and, sometimes, your inner conflicts.

If you slow down enough to really notice what you're doing in detail - and, importantly, why - it's incredible what you can discover about yourself.

For example: consider how you take your morning coffee

...or maybe it's tea? Are you actually caffeine-free? If so, why?  

What time do you take your coffee? One cup for joy, two cups out of habit, or maybe three cups to keep you going? 

Do you prefer enjoying it at home, at a cafe, or just in the company of others? Maybe you absolutely love those moments alone? Do you drink your coffee while meditating - and feel a bit guilty about it?

Drip, espresso, or pour-over? What about the beans? Fair-trade, rainforest alliance-certified, or just the cheapest thing you can find? 

Maybe you see where this is going 👀

Most people think of comfort-zone-stretching experiences like global travel, personal struggle, or dramatic change as the guide to finding yourself. 

But yes, there is another way.

In this article, discover how to find yourself in everyday life by slowing down, paying attention, and making small decisions on a daily basis to affirm what makes you feel alive.

11 Ways to Find Yourself in the Little Things Every Day

Here are tips to find yourself in everyday moments that might otherwise pass you by - post-sleep / pre-wake, mid-scroll, and everything in between. Finding yourself is all about taking the time to notice yourself in these moments, and make choices that re-affirm what matters to you.

1. Pay Attention… to What You Pay Attention To

Start by noticing where your thoughts and focus go throughout the day. What catches your attention? Is it positive or negative self-talk? By being mindful of your thoughts, you can start to understand what drives you and how you can shift your focus to things that matter more. This awareness can help you identify patterns in your thinking and behavior that either support or hinder your personal growth.

2. Catch Yourself When You Scroll

The next time you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media, stop and ask yourself what you’re really looking for. Are you seeking connection, validation, or inspiration? Reflect on these moments to understand your social needs. 

3. Ask What Values Are Driving Your Decisions

Your decisions are guided by your values, whether you’re aware of them or not. Take time to identify what values are influencing your choices. Are they leading you towards a life of meaning? Reflect on whether your decisions align with your long-term goals and values, and if not, make adjustments.

4. Take a New Path to a Familiar Place

Routine can make life feel monotonous. Try taking a new path to a place you travel every day. New experiences, even simple ones like choosing a different commuting route, can broaden your perspective and help you see the world—and yourself—in a new light. This small change can spark creativity and provide a fresh outlook on your daily life.

5. Re-Organize Your Home

A cluttered space can lead to a cluttered mind. Organize your home to create a peaceful environment that reflects your inner calm. This simple act can significantly impact your mental clarity and self-perception. A cluttered space can lead to a cluttered mind.

6. Plan Something to Look Forward To

When you check your calendar, how do the next three months look? A little...blah? Choose happiness by planning something to look forward to. Whether it’s a trip, a project, or a simple get-together with friends, planning enjoyable activities into your life can boost your mood - and give you insight into what makes you feel alive.

7. Notice What You Negotiate in Relationships

Pay attention to what you compromise on in your relationships. Are these negotiations healthy, or are they draining your energy and self-worth? Identifying toxic people in your life and setting healthy boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Recognizing unhealthy patterns can help you create more balanced and supportive relationships that nurture your true self.

8. Be Generous with Yourself

Nothing kills a healthy sense of self like self-criticism, self-doubt, and self-denial. Give yourself credit for your accomplishments and be gentle with your mistakes. Build self-accountability by honestly recognizing the areas you'd like to improve or need support, but focusing more broadly on setting goals that support your growth. Give yourself permission to ask for help when you need it. Developing a more open, accepting, and curious inner dialogue can encourage you to explore your inner self, rather than avoid, suppress or battle with what you find.

9. Recognize When Your Goals Are Limiting You

Sometimes, the goals you set can actually limit you, especially if they're unrealistic or mis-aligned with your values. Reflect on whether your goals are really supporting you, and adjust them if needed to live more intentionally. Recognizing when to pivot or let go of certain goals can free you from unnecessary pressure and open up new opportunities for growth.

10. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparison is the enemy of joy. Everyone’s journey is unique, and comparing yourself to others can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Focus on your path and celebrate your progress. Practicing gratitude for your achievements and strengths can foster a positive mindset.

11. Take Small Risks

Courage often starts with small steps. Try doing something that scares you a little each day, like speaking up in a meeting or trying a new hobby. These small acts of bravery can build your confidence and help you discover new aspects of yourself. Over time, taking these risks can lead to significant personal growth and a deeper understanding of your capabilities.

Discovering Yourself Everyday

Finding yourself is a continuous journey that evolves with your life experiences and personal growth. It’s about building relationships that bring out the best in you and staying true to your authentic self.